Where are the “Cooler Heads?”

For years I didn’t really follow politics. In college there was a group called “Young Republicans” that I admired from a distance. I was a “Young Educator” and all I needed to know about politics was a basic understanding of how it was supposed to work. You know, the kind of patriotical stuff you learn from your fifth grade teacher (which was me, for  few years.)

Then 2016 happened.

I had heard of Donald Trump. I mean, I don’t live under a rock. He was a rich guy with bad hair who fired people on a TV show. And I had watched the “Brain Games” episode where they showed people pictures of two candidates running for office and the people in the mall had to pick who won. So I knew. I just KNEW. That anyone with hair that bad could not be elected president. I mean, really. That consistently grumpy face? That “surely it’s a wig” mess on top of his head? That’s not the face we will see hanging in the Presidential wing of the White House.

Then 2016 happened. 

And all the rules, the “how it’s supposed to work,” of American politics, got thrown out the window. And trampled on. Repeatedly. And with thunderous applause.

And now, this week in Cleveland, the GOP is crowning the biggest playground bully of them all King of the Mountain.

I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like many Americans. And I’ve had a lot of fun making jokes about all the candidates as my sarcastic, smart-mouthed, alter-ego #TheLateDebater.

But someone posted something yesterday that pushed me beyond snarky comments. It was a long post about how He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is the best thing that’s ever happened to ‘Murica, how he’s going to make our country Great Again. And the WINNING. All the WINNING. But the tone of the thing. It was so derogatory towards anyone who disagrees. “If you don’t agree with me you must be stoopid and you must be dee-stroyed.” That was what I found so offensive. And there was a long list of “Nice didn’t help us win this war or that war. It was MILITARY FORCE that won!” And that may be a fact. But it isn’t the whole truth.

Look at World War II. Just briefly. On December 7, 1941, the “United States was suddenly and deliberately attacked by enemy forces of the empire of Japan.” It took four months for the US to respond. Jimmy Doolittle led 80 men on a daring air raid of Tokyo on April 18, 1942. And the atomic bombs? Those weren’t dropped until August 6th and 9th of 1945. Three full years later. Why? Cooler heads prevailed. (There may be something about the bomb technology not being ready, but let’s go with the “cooler heads” theory, ‘kay?)

Fast forward to the Cuban missile crisis. A US spy plane found missiles (not bombs, just the rockets used to carry them) on the island of Cuba. Some officials (not naming names because I can’t remember) wanted to bomb the island, attack the Russians who were sending the bombs over, and start World War III. But they didn’t. There was a blockade instead to prevent the Russians from getting the bombs to the missiles. Lots of posturing. The X-Men may have been involved. (My kids tell me that this was from a historically inaccurate retelling. Oops.) And the Russians TURNED AROUND AND WENT HOME. And so the world didn’t flipping END in 1963. Because cooler heads prevailed.

There are no “cooler heads” in the GOP. Or if they are, there will be no prevailing allowed. We have a hot-headed, war-mongering, thin-skinned monster at the head of our party. Military force, unchecked, will be the answer he throws at every problem. It will be an unmitigated disaster.

And I still can’t believe that someone with hair that bad could possibly be elected president. 

So Many Flavors: Our Night at Pollo Tropical

A new restaurant opened in New Braunfels a few months ago. It’s called Pollo Tropical, and I’d never heard of it before. It went up so quickly I figured it had to be a chain. I also figured that it was a Mexican food restaurant which was slightly disappointing. When you grow up in San Antonio you KNOW what Mexican Food is supposed to taste like. Casa Rio. Mamacitas. Garcias (in Round Rock). Such. Good. Food. So new Mexican restaurants are always kinda iffy. Still, it was there, and we had to eat, and the kids were gone…so it seemed like a good night to try something new.

We knew when we walked in the door that we were NOT in a Mexican food place. But it was hard to label. It wasn’t a Chinese food place, obviously, or actually ANY kind of place I had even been in before. Most menu choices involved chicken, with sides of black beans, yellow/brown/white rice, french fries (because of course) and other foods I have never eaten before…fried plantains and yuca.

Day and I both ordered the “One quarter” plate, which was chicken, something that tried to be pulled pork but did’t quite succeed, and the BEST beef I have ever eaten. The main feature of Pollo Tropical, though, is the sauces. There was ketchup available (but I refused to touch it on principal). Special sauces were Pineapple Rum, Guava Barbecue sauce, Curry Mustard, and Cilantro Garlic (which is a cream sauce that reminds me of the sauce on the doner kabobs we ate in Italy).

The most overwhelming aspect about Pollo Tropical is the plethora of flavors. The fried plantains were sweet, spicy, chunky like a banana, and crunchy. The boiled yuca (still not sure exactly what kind of food that was…) tasted warm and starchy, like a potato. This was the best for dipping because it had so little flavor of its own that it didn’t get in the way of the sauces) We dipped the meats in EVERYTHING and I coated my yellow rice with the curry mustard.

Oh, how do you say “the thing I liked the most” without sounding like a fourth grader! Honestly, the best part of eating at Pollo Tropical was that we were eating REAL FOOD. The sauces weren’t filled with secret ingredients, but rather simple things like “Curry Mustard” and “Guava Barbecue.” Good food. Real food.

Definitely food we’re going to eat again.

How to Fix Education in America in One Easy Step. (Well, sort of...)

We all can agree on the problem. Most of us refer to it as Common Core. But what to do? I have an answer.

We need what is called a "National Scope and Sequence." Now, in non-teacher terms, that is a plan that outlines what kids learn and when they learn it. This ensures that a second grader is mastering addition facts in the first 9-weeks of the school year, and mastering subtraction facts in the second 9-weeks. It also ensures that IN EVERY STATE students learn state history in 7th grade and American history in 8th grade. (Or whatever. I'm using basic concepts. I'm quite certain my specifics are off.)

Why is this needed? Because families move in the middle of the school year. We did. And when a kid moves from Tennessee to Texas in the middle of 2nd grade, they need to not have gaps in their education. It's ok if a local school wants to go above and beyond. That's awesome. (in my example, the first school has mastered addition and subtraction in the first 9 weeks and has moved on to fractions. The kids moves to another state in the second nine weeks where they are working on subtraction again. Fine.) But what if a school is behind, or does it backwards? Like the first school masters subtraction in the first nine weeks and addition in the second? A kid can move in the middle of second grade and NOT MASTER ADDITION. (I know, this is a dumb example. Give me a break; it's Saturday.)

SO HERE'S THE BIG QUESTION: WHO COMES UP WITH A NATIONAL SCOPE AND SEQUENCE?

The biggest problem I have with Common Core is that it was created in Washington by people who have very little experience with education and/or learning other than their own. The National Scope and Sequence should be created by, oh, I don't, know...TEACHERS MAYBE?

Here's my idea: Have a teacher convention. You have to be Chosen to go to the convention, so there would be an application process and maybe a lottery. And it should be free. And in a REALLY fancy hotel like the Opryland one in Nashville. Because teachers need to know that they are appreciated. Each grade level meets all week with teachers in the same grade level from all over the country. Then the teachers create a basic outline for what each grade level needs to learn. 

Obviously there need to be considerations made for Special Ed students ad for Gifted students. But basically, all students in the elementary grades need to be learning the same basic thing at the same time. 

Middle school is trickier because classes start branching out so much. You have bigger schools, smaller schools, schools which can’t offer as many electives because of money. That’s not what I’m talking about. Certainly middle school Math, Science, English, and Social Studies teachers can get together and decide what students need to master by the time they finish each 9-weeks of 6th, 7th, 8th grade. (And can we all agree to lay off the Algebra? Seriously. Because nobody cares about the Pythagorean Theorem. I have NEVER used that outside of class.)

High school is trickier still because we need to get kids thinking about things like Jobs and Careers. Teachers from different parts of the country can see different needs, because jobs available in Central Texas are waaaay different than jobs available in New York City. But every city needs plumbers. And why don’t we teach basic electronics? People don’t know how to hook up their own TVs. Teach a kid to do that and she will make a FORTUNE. What basic education can be agreed on? Again, Math, Science, English, Social Studies. Certain things all students need to succeed in Real Life.

And make it easier for credits to transfer. Because moving in high school is hard enough.

So, basically, give teachers a one-week stay at a cushy hotel. Let them talk about what kids need. Let teachers set up a National Scope and Sequence. And then let the states and local districts put it to good use.

Oh, and please don’t complain about the cost of this Cushy Teacher Convention. If we can spend 42 gazillion dollars on war and/or welfare, we can spend 1 million dollars spoiling teachers for a week. That’s less than what Congress gets paid in one week. (Probably.)

Austen, Zombified

Austen, Zombified

SPOILERS…SORT OF (This review is going to discuss a new movie based on an old book. Will there be spoilers? Come on, folks, the book is 200 years old. We all know what’s going to happen.) Hey this is Clara! I was dragged along for the ride too.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that any movie based on a Jane Austen novel is going to be a hit, mainly among young women and teenage girls. Darcy! Colonel Brandon! Long-lost love letters! And oh, those dresses… And the hair don’t forget their hair, oh my.

I must also confess, when I heard that Seth Grahame-Smith had “revised” the classic Pride and Prejudice to include Zombies, there was much eye-rolling. And then I read it. And laughed and laughed and laughed. Haven’t read it but there was much laughter during the movie.

The book opens with the Bennet girls sitting around playing with hat ribbons and worrying about marriageability. The new movie opens with a young man in a black leather trench coat riding up to a heavily guarded Downton-Abbey-look-alike and announcing his name is “Darcy. Colonel Darcy.” He walks into the sitting room full of men and women in full Regency garb, (no steam-punk influence here) finds the one that’s been bitten, and chops off his head. (Clara’s response? “That escalated quickly and holy carp.”) The first time we see the Bennet girls? They are sitting around cleaning their guns. They were all chill too. Silent just like they were doing some needlework.

The title says it all: it’s Pride and Prejudice. With Darcy as a jerk and Wickham as a playboy and Lizzie as a woman who doesn’t want to depend on a man.

And zombies. Lots and lots of zombies. Flippin' Scary Zombies. These aren’t your “brains!!!!!!” ones though, they can pick up the pace.

THE PLOT: The five Bennet sisters are a fighting force to be reckoned with, and their reputation has spread almost as much as the “plague” of the undead. When they attend the first dance of the season, they are all heavily armed with pistols and knives hidden away under all those beautiful dresses. “Pretty dress check, red cheeks check, perfectly curled hair check, 47 million assorted knives check”. The dance is invaded by a horde, and the sisters join the men in the fight to slay the zombies. At the party, the Bennet family meets Mr. Bingley, a new (rich!) man in town and a very good match indeed for any of their girls. OMYGOSH ITS ROMEO was my response!!! Fortunately, Jane catches his eye. Mr. Bingley’s friend the irascible Mr. Darcy is also in attendance, and has no delight greater than insulting all the girls. (See? I told you it was just like Austen’s novel.) After the zombie fight, Darcy says of Lizzie “Her arms are surprisingly muscular, and yet, still feminine.”

Mr. Bennet has a young nephew who stands to inherit their home because the law will not allow land to go to a daughter. So Mr. Collins, played to horrible perfection by Matt Smith, comes to court Lizzie. “But you must give up your zombie fighting in order to be a good wife,” “We musn’t have swords in the house.” he tells her. Obviously, Lizzie says no. 

Wickham, a young soldier with a confusing past, has an idea on how to fight the zombies…and since this is where the movie deviates from the original P&P, I’ll keep quiet on that. 

THE GOOD: Austen’s works were social commentary, written to make fun of the rules of inheritance and the ridiculousness of women needing a man in order to survive. So it’s almost impossible to see this movie as NOT making fun of our obsession with zombies. As a fan of Austen, it’s hilarious on that front. This movie also has my favorite Darcy. And the most awkward Mr. Collins EVER, we love you Doctor!

THE BAD: Regency dresses were low-cut, and the costumes are true to period. There were many heaving bosoms on display, and a few times we see the girls tucking knives into—and pulling them out of—sheathes in garters. Some really cool knives though! (To be fair, though, I should mention that when the girls are doing their fighting practice, they wear appropriate “workout clothes.”)

THE UGLY: Zombies. Lots and lots of zombies. We see the undead with various fluids dripping out of their heads. Also, the only way to dispatch a zombie is to remove its head. So several heads “disappear” in gunshots. An audience who is familiar with The Walking Dead will probably laugh at the lack of gore in this movie, though, because the zombies get very little screen time. They were scary though. I fancy myself someone who might live through the Zombie Apocalypse but every time those Zombies showed up I was curled up in my seat clutching my mommy’s arm.

THE CONCLUSION: I’ve been looking forward to this movie for a long time. P&P&Z and its companion Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters are hilarious and worth reading for Austen fans. And I thought this was very well done. There were many laughs and badly hidden snickers and I loved it (even though I may swat at my own shadow for the next few days) What do you think, Clara, should they do Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters? If it will be as awesome as P&P&Z then oh yeah! Poor Nessie they’re gonna drag her into this aren’t they?

It’s The First Blog in Forever!

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, when Christians all over the world decide to give up something for the next 40 days as we look forward to Easter. It kinda snuck up on me, oddly enough. This morning I was wondering, “What can I give up for Lent?” The question hit me harder than it usually does.

What else can I afford to lose?

It’s been nearly four years since we left Italy, and almost everything in my life has changed since then. In the last 3 1/2 years, I have:

lived in three different houses (in two different states)

buried two cats

gained two cats

attempted service dog training with three different dogs

crocheted approximately 300 scarves, hats, and/or blankets

registered my children at 7 different schools

driven 3 different vehicles

had 3 different paying jobs

watched my husband fight daily against PTSD

been on food stamps

lost my “Army wife” status.

So while things are getting better, please tell me, what am I supposed to give up for Lent? What else can I afford to lose?

And then the answer comes, gently, as it always does.

Myself.

Jesus said we must deny ourselves daily, take up the cross, and follow Him. (Matthew 16:24)

So each day I have to focus once more on what God has provided

We own a house for the very first time.

I have a job. And we are paying all the bills. And we can still eat.

The car works. Mostly.

The kids are in good schools.

The fight agains PTSD? We have many allies.
I’m still the wife of that handsome soldier. Oops…veteran.

Shifting focus is hard. And it hurts. Because we have lost a lot; there’s no point in denying it. But God is still with us. Still holding us. Still sustaining us.

Still living.

So for anyone still reading…remember that God is still here.