Austen, Zombified
SPOILERS…SORT OF (This review is going to discuss a new movie based on an old book. Will there be spoilers? Come on, folks, the book is 200 years old. We all know what’s going to happen.) Hey this is Clara! I was dragged along for the ride too.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that any movie based on a Jane Austen novel is going to be a hit, mainly among young women and teenage girls. Darcy! Colonel Brandon! Long-lost love letters! And oh, those dresses… And the hair don’t forget their hair, oh my.
I must also confess, when I heard that Seth Grahame-Smith had “revised” the classic Pride and Prejudice to include Zombies, there was much eye-rolling. And then I read it. And laughed and laughed and laughed. Haven’t read it but there was much laughter during the movie.
The book opens with the Bennet girls sitting around playing with hat ribbons and worrying about marriageability. The new movie opens with a young man in a black leather trench coat riding up to a heavily guarded Downton-Abbey-look-alike and announcing his name is “Darcy. Colonel Darcy.” He walks into the sitting room full of men and women in full Regency garb, (no steam-punk influence here) finds the one that’s been bitten, and chops off his head. (Clara’s response? “That escalated quickly and holy carp.”) The first time we see the Bennet girls? They are sitting around cleaning their guns. They were all chill too. Silent just like they were doing some needlework.
The title says it all: it’s Pride and Prejudice. With Darcy as a jerk and Wickham as a playboy and Lizzie as a woman who doesn’t want to depend on a man.
And zombies. Lots and lots of zombies. Flippin' Scary Zombies. These aren’t your “brains!!!!!!” ones though, they can pick up the pace.
I must also confess, when I heard that Seth Grahame-Smith had “revised” the classic Pride and Prejudice to include Zombies, there was much eye-rolling. And then I read it. And laughed and laughed and laughed. Haven’t read it but there was much laughter during the movie.
The book opens with the Bennet girls sitting around playing with hat ribbons and worrying about marriageability. The new movie opens with a young man in a black leather trench coat riding up to a heavily guarded Downton-Abbey-look-alike and announcing his name is “Darcy. Colonel Darcy.” He walks into the sitting room full of men and women in full Regency garb, (no steam-punk influence here) finds the one that’s been bitten, and chops off his head. (Clara’s response? “That escalated quickly and holy carp.”) The first time we see the Bennet girls? They are sitting around cleaning their guns. They were all chill too. Silent just like they were doing some needlework.
The title says it all: it’s Pride and Prejudice. With Darcy as a jerk and Wickham as a playboy and Lizzie as a woman who doesn’t want to depend on a man.
And zombies. Lots and lots of zombies. Flippin' Scary Zombies. These aren’t your “brains!!!!!!” ones though, they can pick up the pace.
THE PLOT: The five Bennet sisters are a fighting force to be reckoned with, and their reputation has spread almost as much as the “plague” of the undead. When they attend the first dance of the season, they are all heavily armed with pistols and knives hidden away under all those beautiful dresses. “Pretty dress check, red cheeks check, perfectly curled hair check, 47 million assorted knives check”. The dance is invaded by a horde, and the sisters join the men in the fight to slay the zombies. At the party, the Bennet family meets Mr. Bingley, a new (rich!) man in town and a very good match indeed for any of their girls. OMYGOSH ITS ROMEO was my response!!! Fortunately, Jane catches his eye. Mr. Bingley’s friend the irascible Mr. Darcy is also in attendance, and has no delight greater than insulting all the girls. (See? I told you it was just like Austen’s novel.) After the zombie fight, Darcy says of Lizzie “Her arms are surprisingly muscular, and yet, still feminine.”
Mr. Bennet has a young nephew who stands to inherit their home because the law will not allow land to go to a daughter. So Mr. Collins, played to horrible perfection by Matt Smith, comes to court Lizzie. “But you must give up your zombie fighting in order to be a good wife,” “We musn’t have swords in the house.” he tells her. Obviously, Lizzie says no.
Mr. Bennet has a young nephew who stands to inherit their home because the law will not allow land to go to a daughter. So Mr. Collins, played to horrible perfection by Matt Smith, comes to court Lizzie. “But you must give up your zombie fighting in order to be a good wife,” “We musn’t have swords in the house.” he tells her. Obviously, Lizzie says no.
Wickham, a young soldier with a confusing past, has an idea on how to fight the zombies…and since this is where the movie deviates from the original P&P, I’ll keep quiet on that.
THE GOOD: Austen’s works were social commentary, written to make fun of the rules of inheritance and the ridiculousness of women needing a man in order to survive. So it’s almost impossible to see this movie as NOT making fun of our obsession with zombies. As a fan of Austen, it’s hilarious on that front. This movie also has my favorite Darcy. And the most awkward Mr. Collins EVER, we love you Doctor!
THE BAD: Regency dresses were low-cut, and the costumes are true to period. There were many heaving bosoms on display, and a few times we see the girls tucking knives into—and pulling them out of—sheathes in garters. Some really cool knives though! (To be fair, though, I should mention that when the girls are doing their fighting practice, they wear appropriate “workout clothes.”)
THE UGLY: Zombies. Lots and lots of zombies. We see the undead with various fluids dripping out of their heads. Also, the only way to dispatch a zombie is to remove its head. So several heads “disappear” in gunshots. An audience who is familiar with The Walking Dead will probably laugh at the lack of gore in this movie, though, because the zombies get very little screen time. They were scary though. I fancy myself someone who might live through the Zombie Apocalypse but every time those Zombies showed up I was curled up in my seat clutching my mommy’s arm.
THE CONCLUSION: I’ve been looking forward to this movie for a long time. P&P&Z and its companion Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters are hilarious and worth reading for Austen fans. And I thought this was very well done. There were many laughs and badly hidden snickers and I loved it (even though I may swat at my own shadow for the next few days) What do you think, Clara, should they do Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters? If it will be as awesome as P&P&Z then oh yeah! Poor Nessie they’re gonna drag her into this aren’t they?
