Disaster of a Thousand Places

We all agree that there are archetypes in heroic/epic/myth stories. You have your young hero, your peppy sidekick, your old mentor who will die right when they need him most, your princess. There’s also the magic sword (or lightsaber) which our young hero needs to defeat the villain and save the world. From King Arthur to Harry Potter, we find these same characters over and over again. That’s why Joseph Campbell wrote that awesome book The Hero of a Thousand Faces, because these archetypes occur over and over again.

I began to wonder, are there archetypes in disaster movies, especially bad disaster movies with really horrible special effects? (I’m looking at you, Sharknado!)

So we began to take notes, and we found:

• the smart scientist with the unbelievable theory that turns out to be right
• the weak political leader who refuses to listen to the previously mentioned scientist
• the divorced man who wants to get back with his ex-wife
• the new husband who refuses to listen to the divorced man and dies as a result
• the old mentor who dies just when they need him most 
• disasters of mythic proportions, such as a tornado that wipes out an entire tri-state area or a series of earthquakes that literally circle the globe
• one last ditch effort, often using a “magic” weapon, that will save the world 

So I guess that these disaster movies aren’t that much different from the epics that have delighted the world ever since Gilgamesh. If only they had better special effects!

Oh, and if disaster strikes, whatever you do, stay away from the Statue of Liberty. She’s been taking hits ever since Planet of the Apes!

Dear Members of Congress,

We the People of the United States have elected you to do a job. Specifically, balancing the budget.

I would like to re-direct your attention to the Preamble of the Constitution of the United States. It declares the principles upon which our country was founded, and these principles should be used in the balancing of our budget.

• in order to form a more perfect union

Well, by not balancing the budget, you have united the country, but they are only united in that every single citizen is MAD AT YOU. Please drop the partisan nonsense and work together for the good of the nation.

• establish Justice

There is not justice in the eyes of the nation when “government employees” who are expected to work do not get their paychecks, yet you get paid for not doing your job. (I know, this part of the Constitution refers to the keeping and upholding of the law, but right now we’re just really mad about the furlough.)

• ensure domestic Tranquility

This simply means keeping peace in the home, on American soil. Attacks happen, like those on 9-11. We don’t blame Congress. But a balanced budget would keep funds available for helping those affected by attacks and disasters like hurricane Sandy.

• provide for the common defense

You scared 1% of the nation when you talked about not giving the military their pay. (No, not that 1%...) The 1% that keeps our country safe. Military members and their families do not live in luxury; they struggle to pay their bills like most of the nation. How can soldiers concentrate on the mission when they are worried about their families not being able to make the rent payment?

• promote the general welfare

I suppose this is where Universal Health Care and, well, Welfare programs come into play. It’s really nice of the government to offer affordable health care. Medical coverage is crazy expensive. However, forcing people to take it?  And fining those who don’t? That’s a bridge too far. People who can’t afford to pay for cheap health care certainly can’t afford to pay the fines for not having it.

• secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity

How can we possibly do this if our nation is gazillions of dollars in debt? Keep raising the debt ceiling? That’s like getting another credit card and continuing to live at your current level. Families with children know that they have to live within their means if they want to pass on ANYTHING but debt. Their income must be more than their outgo. The United States is in debt, which cannot be ignored. We have to pay down that debt while not incurring more debt...it’s really not that complicated.

Well, Congress, That’s what I have to say. Balance the budget. Spend the people’s money on things that are good for the people. Stop spending money on things that we don’t need, and stop taking out loans that we couldn’t repay in a million years.

Please, get the job done. We the People are depending on you.

Sincerely,

Laura Lusby